Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Just Waiting

Pam just wrote this for the blog.....

It has been a difficult, difficult two days with Janet. Either we were dealing with writhing pain or a morphine stupor, and both conditions were agonizing for us to watch.

But this morning about 5 a.m. things took a turn for the better. Janet is suddenly feeling more energized and needing much less morphine. I'm pretty sure this is due to increasing her primary medication yesterday, which the doctor said would take about 18 hours to take effect. 5 a.m. would have been 19 hours since the change... Wow....

So I have been sitting with Janet for the past 90 minutes, and taking advantage of these precious moments when she is clear headed, coherent, and chatty. We have said important things to each other and shared silent smiles. I will treasure the memories of this glorious morning forever.

This morning we had our first "Jesus sighting." As we were talking, Janet suddenly reached her arms up and said, "Oh! He's beautiful...."

I stopped talking and then she turned and said quietly, "Pam that was Jesus..."

"It was?" I barely whispered, as I felt I was on holy ground. "What does He look like?"

She was quiet and thoughtful for a long time and then said, "I don't know... He's gone now. But He was telling me a joke..... He's funny. "

Then she looked heavenward and said, "Father, I really, really, really want to wait for Becky." Becky arrives tonight at midnight, about 18 hours from now. And then she looked at me and said, "I'm just in a hovercraft right now for a little while before I go up. "

I am blessed to share these moments with this woman. It is singularly the most difficult and the most rewarding experience of my life.

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